The leap

So, I have been thinking a lot recently about this leap that I will be taking in July. A lot of feelings run through me. Anxiety, excitement, happiness, sadness, fear, love, freedom, etc. I have been learning to soak in all these feelings. It is hard at times but it is very enjoyable. One of the foremost feelings is this sense of adventure. Like I am heading out into the darkness of a foreign wilderness in the mountains with no shoes, no protection and only a sword to hunt for prey to feast upon. I feel anxious and fearful knowing that there are animals larger than me out there; that the only way I will know my direction is by the stars in the night sky; that I will be consumed by darkness, my path being lit only by the dim moon; that I will have no protection from sharp foreign objects beneath my feet; that my sharpened sword is my only form of defense. I feel excited knowing I will soon get to enjoy a great feast. I am happy knowing I will be providing for someone I love. I feel love knowing that my loved one will respect me when I return. I feel freedom as I step away from my everyday life and risk all that I have not knowing the outcome. Still, my loved ones stand behind me.

I was just talking to my colleagues today about skydiving. I have been skydiving before. It was the biggest adrenaline rush I have ever felt. It was also an adventure. But it was nothing compared to the leap I am about to take.

It has been about a month since I have made my life changing decision public knowledge. I have had that much time to feel all the emotions that come with the decision. It is now ramping up to some amazing feelings. The feeling is like I am on the edge of a cliff looking down, only to see a cloud. I can't see what is underneath that cloud. I will not know till I jump. A friend of mine gave me a great word of advise. "Leap...and the net will appear." Thank you Amanda. I needed those words.

I am ready.



It is just about time to jump.